Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Am I an Apostate unable to repent?
34 years ago I was a Born Again believer. I loved Christ and received the Holy Spirit. Over the years I ran into problems and ended up backsliding which led to me returning to a sinful lifestyle with drunkenness and womanizing, etc, for many years without repentance. I don't know how I got so bad, but I did. I regret all of this and how this has ruined my life and my faith. I lost my righteousness and fear that I have lost the Lord forever. I miss the guidance of the Spirit. I believe that I'm an Apostate beyond redemption. Is there any hope for me to be restored? Honest answers please!
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I'm not the best at giving advice, but I would first suggest you going to a sound pastor and seeking counsel.I have been through almost exactly the same thing. I struggle with great fears and doubts at times my friend, but i have started going to a church and im receiving some good counseling and encouragement from other believers. Joh Bunyan, author of The Pilgrims Progress went through some similar stuff. You can read about it in Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners. That book was very encouraging! YOu can get the kindle version for free, as well as the kindle for pc application for free to read it. Just start an amazon account for free and find it. Plus listen to John Pipers sermon biography of William Cowper, who was stricken with such fears. its free online at desiringgod.org. another good resource for free sermons is gty.org. Be encouraged and find some believers and some counsel.
In Hosea 14 you can read Return, O Israel, to the Lord your God,
for you have stumbled because of your iniquity.
Take with you words
and return to the Lord;
(and just further down it says)
I will heal their apostasy;
I will love them freely,
for my anger has turned from them.
Im no theologian but I would say go to the Lord in repentance, and look to Jesus. And study on righteous imputation. much love! Jason
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